this morning!!!

 this morning when helping dad at stall..i suddenly think of him..i still remember last time he stared at me from far..then i realise someone is looking at me and smile and shock..i smile everytime i see him,i smile alone when i think of him,,tonight..i'll be going dinner with him..i'm so damn happy..it our first time attend formail dinner together..hope we enjoy it..i plan to snap more picture with him..as for other..i wont think anymore..i wanna appreciate my time with him...my beloved,my love ones..I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!

happy nite

last nite..we on call for almost 2hours and more...first time ne..happy dao..we talk bultshit more,talk bout my ex,talk bout his skol life,talk bout gals and boys,talk bout biology!!!LOL!!!and some more talk bout he do experiment using frog..Yuck!!!digusting!!!he ask if i wanna follow him go dinner tis sunday..i wish to go..but i duno how to tell my mum.i reli wish she'll let...have to try...i have to popi popi d...but nothing is happier than yesterday...most happy happy nite ever..

after all these day's

after all these day's...i finally make it up..i finally understand why is he so jealous everytime i chat with other boys..he just a send birthday msj to his ex's i already get crazy like i also duno how to say..i really jealous..i'm so damn angry..i just cant control my feeling..i hate it when he still got contact with her..i didn't mean to treat him so cool last few day..but i just failed control myself..i'm such a failure gf..arghh..i finally understand how he feel when everytime i did something he dislike..finally we've made promise to each other..i make sure myself did what i promised..i kind scared he'll give people snatch...so many sad things happen..HUMAN LEARNS FROM MISTAKE and i wish i can do it too...

felt like losing him..

felt like losing him recently..and i don't know why..he is like getting far away from me..i think too much it really gonna happen very soon??last night we suddenly talk back when we first couple tat time..we meet tat early in the morning..wat i remember most is he bought strepsil for me coz i'm having bad sore throat..tis is still fresh in my mind..the moment he walk to me..wat in my mind is,he is so cute and nice..tat was the first time i see him and walk with him so near..heart beat seriously increase duno how many percent...i grab his first kiss,i grab his hug..and i still remember when i first time working he find me for lunch..i like when i working coz i can see him almost everyday..but he din think so..he think tat i bz working and din bother him..but he din realise..since i work,we meet almost everyday..but too muc memory we had until i can write it all..x'mas he given me surprise,new year he give me surprise,the night before chinese new year we went out for celebration...and he give me surprise again coz it our anniversary..Valentine..i receive more surprise..being with him is full of surprise..we bite the same seaweed when we were in party..felt so sweet and happy..but..i did nothing also..i wish i can be much perfect than now,i wish i can give him more than now,i wish i can sacrifice more than now..it all only wish..nothing is important than i wish i can have him in my life forever..

finally we meet 19 march 2011 11.01am

today we meet at kfc..i feel nervous..this feeling same like the first time i wait him..and i don't know why..seeing him come in...i try to put a smile on my face..i felt guilty actually for all that i've done..i miss him alot..wanted to hug him tight..but i cant..but i'm happy that i still have chance meet him..feel like don't want the time stop..i want us to have more time together..i want to hold his hand till the rest of my life..i wish i can be with him..i wish i be his part of life..i don't wanna let this great guy walk away from me..i'm not letting his hand off from me..i hope he like the shirt that i bought..i happy to see him smile..

sadness had come back

yesterday i had a dream...i dream he hug me up like he use to be..i miss him so much..I'm not sure how long our relation will carry on..i just wanna appreciate the time we had..but i cant do it..he is trying to protect it but I'm like destroying our relation..he asked me a question yesterday..izit i wanna break up with him..i told him i don't want any break up..i know I've hurt his feeling that moment..what can i do..recently i had a very bad headache..i just wish that i got brain cancer..so that i can die just like that..i don't wanna hurt anyone anymore..i wanted to love him more..but i know i wont have the chance anymore..he started giving up..i wish he can find someone better than me..i don't have any idea anymore..i just cant say those two words..every time i think of it my heart like been cut by a knife..damn pain..someone teach me what to do..

Down - Jay Sean (slow version)